come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Randomize
