I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
