I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
