Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Betty ford says i'm here all night
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
