I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize