we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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