Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Randomize
