just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
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