its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
