I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
