Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
