I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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