They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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