Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
In America we eat man semen.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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