I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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