Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
it's like heaven, but drunker
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Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
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I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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