Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
