Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
