I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
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