I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
