How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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