I want to make a zoo with you.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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