How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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