mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
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