the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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