just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
So squirting runs in the family.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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