I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
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