Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
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I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
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I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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