felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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