Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
