she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
