And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
