He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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