i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize