and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
