am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
