WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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