Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
