Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
im on a boat
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