you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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