So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
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I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
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My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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