I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
