Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
