I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Randomize
