...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
