My nipple is on Facebook.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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