I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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