I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
