Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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