This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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