I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
