I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize