Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
