I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
