I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
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