And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Randomize
