So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
