I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize