It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Randomize
